Child'splay
by tarin2014tfan
Summary: Splinter went scavenging, and brought home some unintended items his toddler sons find.


**Child'splay**

 **Disclaimer-** I do not own TMNT or any of the characters therein. Some VERY rich dude does.  
 **Rating -** Mature audiences only.  
 **Story Warnings** \- Mention of female hygiene products with some possibly disturbing imagery. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
 **Pairings** \- None, parental figure and children. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
 **Universe-** 2003 series. (Don't like these topics? Do not read.)  
 **Ages-** Splinter adult/ Turtles toddlers

There wasn't many things better than a hot cup of Jasmine tea after a long night of scavenging.

Splinter relaxed back in his worn armchair, sipping at his steaming cup. He sighed, allowing himself a well deserved feeling of satisfaction. The night's scavenging had went remarkably well, one of his best ever. His little family would have food every night for well over a month, three if he rationed it.

To be honest, luck had played a large part in the night's haul, but if it helped provide for his little ones, Splinter didn't care how it happened. He was just thankful it did. A smile curled his lips, making his whiskers twitch, right place at the right time.

Splinter took another sip of his tea, savoring the taste. It had more flavor than some of the teas he had previously found.

The small convenience store dumpster Splinter had chosen to search through first had been a virtual cornucopia.

The store had changed owners at the beginning of the week, and the new owner had literally made a clean sweep of things. Underneath stacks of twisted shelving, broken registers, and various other unusable items, the rat had found bag after bag of food, toiletries, and the rarest find of all, brand new, unbroken, still in the box, toys.

Splinter hadn't thought about it, he'd simply moved. He slid aside the manhole cover, and tossed bag after bag into the sewers. Luckily, he had had the foresight to bring his sons along to help carry back their treasure trove of supplies, otherwise the old rat would still be carrying the supplies back.

Sadly enough, the young turtles were well aware of the hardships their small family faced on a daily basis, and a haul like this made Christmas pale in comparison. They hadn't complained once about lugging the heavy bags back home. Not even Michelangelo. Raphael had actually found it enjoyable.

Splinter turned to look into the tiny space they used as a kitchen. Foodstuffs covered every available surface. He would be hard pressed to find a space to store everything to keep the bugs, mice, and rats out of it.

That was the kind of problem Splinter didn't mind. He also didn't mind having to find a place to store the multitude of shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap and bubble bath either. Although the rat knew his sons would be more than happy to help remedy the problem of space for storing the bubble bath.

Splinter chuckled. He doubted getting his four sons to take a bath would be very hard for quite some time if he rationed it. He planned on rationing it.

Speaking of, Splinter's ears twitched as the old rat looked around the lair, where were his sons? He hadn't seen hide nor shell of them since coming home. A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was close to mealtime. He should have heard from Michelangelo at least a dozen times by now.

Splinter's concern rose. There had been bags of candy mixed in with the other foodstuffs, but he hadn't checked the bags with the toys or toiletries.

Relaxation forgotten, Splinter set aside his tea, hurrying to find his small charges. He hoped they hadn't found something like medication, and mistaken it for candy.

Splinter tried to calm himself as he hurried to the bathroom. No, surely Leonardo or Donatello would have come ask before letting their siblings sample something they were not completely certain was food.

In the bathroom there was no sign of the turtle tots, but there was row after row of neatly lined bottles and boxes along the far wall. Splinter smiled at the obvious evidence of his two most responsible sons' handiwork.

Carefree laughter from the boys' shared bedroom drew Splinter's attention. He sighed in relief. All four of his sons seemed to be fine, and having a great time.

Just like any father, Splinter couldn't resist taking a peek, and slipped down the hallway on ninja silent feet. After all, the turtles spent so much of their time learning to be safe from the dangers of humans, and the surface world, it was refreshing to see them just being children having fun.

Splinter peered around the open door to the boys' room and froze, his eyes going unnaturally wide.

His sons were having fun playing, but it wasn't with the toys Splinter had found.

The floor of the room was covered in strange, padded stickers, some with flaps along the side, some not, and all seemed to resemble an elongated hourglass shape.

Raphael had lined several up along the floor, and was using them as a highway for his toy cars. The stickers had slight indentions down the center the young turtle had colored in with yellow marker to define both sides of his 'highway'. Splinter watched as the emerald tot held up a newly marked sticker, appraising his work before peeling a paper off the back, and sticking the padded strip on the floor to extend his highway.

"Hey, Raphie, can I have the paper?" little Leonardo asked.

"Yeah, I don't need it."

Splinter noticed his usually short tempered son handed the paper to his brother in a manner more akin to Donatello.

The fatherly rat then noticed his brilliant son was 'experimenting' with his stickers. Donatello sat quietly in a corner of the room, several stickers spread out on the floor before him, and was placing drops of colored water onto the white padding. After five drops, the young genius would take a ruler and measure for any change in the height of the padding.

Something about the blue water his son was using bothered Splinter though the rat couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Michelangelo had peeled the paper off of several stickers that had the side flaps, and had stuck them together. He now held them as high as his little arms could reach, and was moving around the room making 'vroom' noises before 'landing' on a box set against one wall.

"Pilot to control tower," the sea green tot spoke into his hand. "We are coming in for a landing. Control to pilot, you are clear for landing on runway five." Mikey landed his plane. "Did I say it right, Donnie?" he asked excitedly.

Donatello paused in his measurements to smile at his baby brother. "Yes. You got it perfect that time, Mikey."

Splinter turned his attention to his last son. Leonardo was sitting on the floor surrounded by the strips of paper pulled from the backs of his brothers' stickers. He was folding them into a menagerie of tiny origami animals.

One strip had drifted away from Leo's supply pile and was lying near the door. Something was written on it in pale lettering. Curious, Splinter picked it up.

"Kotex," he read.

Suddenly everything clicked into place. Splinter KNEW what these were, he'd seen them advertised often enough while watching his stories.

Oh by all the ancient ninja gods that every existed! What was he going to do now! His sons were playing with feminine hygiene products!

"Thanks for the cool toys, Dad!" Leo called out. "See my swan!"

"Yeah, Master Splinter. These are great toys!" Raph was grinning wider than Mikey, if that were even possible.

"They're great for experiments too! I bet they could soak up anything liquid! Call me next time Mikey spills something! I want to try it!"

"Hey!" Mikey glared at his olive toned brother. "I don't spill THAT much!"

"Do too!" Raph and Leo said at the same time.

"I am glad you are enjoying your new... toys, my sons. Just clean up before bedtime. I will call you when the meal is ready."

Splinter wasn't making spaghetti for supper, that was for DARN sure.

Making his way back towards the kitchen, Splinter realized a very important fact in child rearing. When the kids are left to their own devices, and get quiet... worry.

Splinter stopped, turning to glance back down the hallway. "Surely they will outgrow that tendency," he scoffed. "But I do believe I shall write to my friend, the Daimyo, and tell him of my adventures as a parent." Splinter continued on his way to the kitchen. "I doubt there will be very many future incidents such as this, if any at all. They are turtles after all."

If he only knew.

Thanks for reading.


End file.
